September 16, 2016

Legend of Talk Like a Pirate Day

Batten down the hatches... Knowledge Flood Incoming!

Ahoy, ye lubbers! Saturday be International Talk Like A Pirate Day and people from all over t' world be spendin' as much o' t' day as they can stand speakin' as piratey as they know how. Aye yes, and ye best be ready too, ‘cause we pirates don’t take too kindly to lilly livered landlubbers.

Choose a side in our newest pirate war!

T' celebration was originally created in 1995 by John Baur (Ol' Chumbucket) and Mark Summers (Cap'n Slappy) whist playin' a game o' racquetball as such holidays often begin. For some reason or another (including the help o' a scurvy wordpirate-turned-columnist named Dave Barry), t' internet adopted t' very silly holiday and (wantin' t' celebrate as many silly holidays as possible)

AE followed suit addin' TLPD (or TLAPD for those o' you who just love your articles) t' our yearly roster o' holidays. It was such a wildly popular fan favorite that we've been keepin' t' spirit alive and doin' it every year.

If yer gonna look the look and walk the walk, that's all well and good, me hearty. But ye should also know how to TALK the TALK!

If'n ye aren't sure of yer nautical knowledge, fret not, sailor—ye be in luck, ‘cause me AQW Crewmate Beleen has a lil’ lessen for ye in the way o' the Pirate. Yaaaar!

There be Rules, Sailor: Pirate 101

Thee first thing ye need to know ‘bout becomin’ a pirate is ye gatta believe yer a pirate! If ye don’t truly believe ye be a Swashbuckler, then aint no one else ganna be bamboozled! Set ye deadlights on these steps:

1. Pirates don’t be good at speakin’. We be mutterin’ most o’ our words. Best get used to it, matey!
2. Ye gatta run ye words togeth’r. Ye gatta slur. Don’t be usin’ no proper sentences, either!
3. If ye still got both ye hands, use a motherload o’ gestures. Movin’ ye hands about when ye speak be key to a pirate’s life. It also be good fer protectin’ against Carpal Tunnel!
4. Pirates be loud ‘nd lusty ‘nd brash. Thee louder ye be, THEE SMART’R YE SOUND!!!
5. Never say “you” or “your” unless ye wishes to walk the plank. It be “ye” an’ “yer” in the Pirate’s life! Savvy?
6. Oh, ‘nd it be “me” and not no “I” or “mine”! Fer example, “that be me booty, ye no good two toothed thievin’ scallywag!”
7. Drop the “g” after words endin’ in “ing”. There be no need fer that “g” after many words, like goin’, and fightin’, and fishin’, and swimmin’!
8. Make up words if ye have to! We pirates don’t be mindin’ a wee bit o’ hornswaggling!
9. Pirates be superstitious folk. Never leave port without ye good luck charm, or there be mighty a dire consequence! Me never leaves me home base without me lucky pink skull pendant!

Swanky Pirate Lingo: Pirate 102

Below be a list o’ the best pirate-speak in all thee seven seas! Best practice these phrases, ‘nd ye then be ready fer Talk Like A Pirate Day on September 19!

• All hands on deck! – A cry that calls for immediate action.
• Ahoy! – A general greeting, meaning "Hello!"
• Arrr! – A pirate’s most commonly used word that has no solid definition.
• Avast! – A cry that generally means “Stop and give attention.” Can also mean "Whoa!” or "Check it out" or "No way!"
• Aye! - "Yes!"
• Belay - To immediately cease or stop.
• Booty - Anything of value that a pirate can plunder.
• Cat’o’Nine Tails – A whip made up of nine knotted ropes.
• Crow’s Nest – A lookout point at the top of the tallest mast on a ship.
• Cutlass – A curved sword, favored by many sailors.
• Davy Jones' Locker – Technically means the bottom of the sea. It is also where the souls of drowned pirates go. 
• Grog – A pirate’s beverage of choice. 
• Hoist the Colors! –To raise the Pirate flag before attacking.
• Hearties –Shipmates and friends.
• Hornswaggle—To cheat or to lie.
• Lad—A name for a young gentleman.
• Lass - A name for a young woman, usually more polite.
• Lubber or landlubber—A name give to those who prefer land over the sea.
• Motherload –A term for a very large amount of booty or treasure. 
• Salt or Old Salt—The name given to veteran Sailors. Also used to enhance the flavor of food.
• Savvy – Meaning to understand or “okay”.
• Smartly – To do or to perform something quickly.
• Scurvy –A common condition of sailors who go too long without eating fruits and vegetables.
• Shiver me timbers! –"Well, I'll be" or "What a surprise!" 
• Swag—The common term for riches and/or gold.
• Walk the plank – To be forced to walk the length of a plank that has been placed over the side of a ship. The outcome is not promising.

Ye be a savvy pirate now, that ye be. On behalf o’ the AQW Crew, ye now be ready fer Talk Like a Pirate Day! Weigh anchor, grab ye cutlass and ye captain’s hat, ‘nd don’t be forgettin’ yer trusty parrot neither! At any time ye be needin’ a smartly reminder, sail back ‘ere ‘nd get a seaworthy refresher!

Savvy, pirate?